Today I am sharing my ideas on transformation. On how to take the unavoidable pain of life and turn it into the power to grow into the best possible version of your self. on staying open, especially when you want to close.
This approach allows you to take an honest inventory of where you are, so that you can move forward into the place you want to be.
Because before we talk about where we want to go, we need to first address where we are.
Change begins with acceptance and cannot move forward without understanding our past and present.
By practicing radical acceptance and allowance, we lovingly check-in and observe whats going on for us- through all the different layers.
Physical, mental, emotional, energetic, spiritual.
With a clear understanding of where you are, you enable yourself to transcend whatever that state may be.
If we try to stay stagnant and resist the opportunities to grow, we resist the natural order of the world.
I think its really interesting that we have a cultural belief that says “people don’t change”
It should really read that people don’t change until they are willing to.
Because the truth is, people are changing all the time; growing, outgrowing, evolving and shifting. People are also staying stagnant and resisting the opportunities to grow. The key is that only you can decide: Only you can accept where you are, in order to move forward to somewhere new.
And this is no easy feat...
Generally speaking, being a human being is a hard. No matter how privileged you were born into this life, you will still experience things that challenge, test and scare you. Pain, just like its counterpart pleasure, is a part of the deal of being human.
However, Buddha clarified for us that although pain is unavoidable, suffering is not.
Since everything we experience, exists on multiple levels, holistic healing asks us to process our own internal and external discomfort on all of these levels (physical, emotional, psychological, energetic, spiritual)
Our bodies naturally want to heal and reach a state of homeostasis: they do not want to exist in a place of pain or imbalance.
But our mind, which has been conditioned to fear and resist pain, will do everything it can to keep pain suppressed and avoided.
But, it is in finding the courage to confront what is hurting us, we also find the power to transcend it.
How we deal with (or don't deal with) our pain determines how much power it has over us:
When we avoid our pain, it becomes the silent author to our life; it becomes the reason we react, we avoid, we distract and we escape.
When we truly feel our pain, we are able to process and release it in order to make space for something new.
When we practice presence and tune into our bodies, we are able to process, integrate and feel everything we need to in order to release and move on. You already know how to do this, you do not need to wait for someone to teach you. It's just about backing off from your mind enough to listen to your body.
Allow, accept and feel your pain. This is how you avoid suffering.
When we view healing in this way, we see that when things rise to the surface in the form of pain, frustration, anxiety, fear, depression, doubt- that they are rise up in order to be released.
Everything needs to come up to come out
The more we can reframe our struggles are opportunities for growth, the sooner we will be able to evolve into our highest version of our self.
Think of it this way:
What you focus on expands:
If you focus on your shortcomings, the pain you’ve experienced, the trauma, you start to tell your story like you're the victim. If you reframe to understand all of these roadblocks as necessary learning points on your path to self actualization/spiritual growth/soul evolution (whatever you wanna call it ;) you can actually start to feel immense gratitude for the misfortune and pain that comes your way.
It’s all in the way you tell your story.
The way we speak about our lives becomes our life. Your thoughts and words continue to inform the way your life unfolds.
The poet Hafiz explains
“The words you speak become the house you live in”
Where can you shift your story so that instead of identifying with the pain you have endured, you instead identify with the growth and wisdom that came as a result?
How can you rewrite your story so that you're the hero, not the victim.
SO ... How exactly can you transform your pain into beauty?
Trust the struggles you have experienced throughout your life. They are here to teach you. They are your lessons. To encourage you to grow into the next expression of who you are
When you take an honest inventory of self, past and present, you give yourself the power to shed what hinders you, to uncover whats beneath the surface and release all the blockages you have that keep you from living a life filled with love, trust and compassion.
By the way, it tends to be a scenic route, there's not really an express route.
You've gotta show up for yourself, day in and day out, and do the work.
here is find my all time favorite definition of healing by healer and writer Geneen Roth that helps sum it all up:
"Healing is about opening our hearts, not closing them. It is about softening the places in us that wont let love in. Healing is a process, it is about rocking back and forth between the pain of the past and the fullness of the present, and being in the present more and more of the time. The purpose of healing is not to be forever happy, that is impossible. The purpose of healing is to be awake. Healing is about being broken and whole at the same time."
I hope this helps you on your journey towards healing.
Its not always easy, so be patient and let your self take the long way home.
As always, thank you for reading.